How Children Perceive Their Grandparents

One of my friends sent this to me and I so appreciate it.  Number 1 and 4 are just my favorites.  Hope you enjoy them.  I enjoy sharing them with you..................

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said. "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child.

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.

 

10 Things Your Dad Never Said

10. Well, how about that! I'm lost. Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

9. You know, Lisa, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

8. Don't worry, I can pick out a car for you now that you are sixteen.  Come on, it will only take an hour or two and you'll be driving your first car. 

7. Here's $50 bucks Mike. Go crazy!

6. What do you mean you want to be different than your friends?  You have to do the same things that they do, son.  So if they jump off a bridge I want you to jump right after them.

5. Your mother and I are going away for the weekend Jenny. You might want to consider throwing a party.

4. You know now that you are a teenager you can stay out as late as you want.  Curfews are not necessary for you kids.

3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now, quit your belly aching and let's go to the mall.

2. Why do you want to go and get a job? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

1. Father's Day? Ah, don't worry about that. It's no big deal!

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
- Theodore Hesburgh

Mothers

All of you out there know what it is like to cause your Mother to worry.  Mom's worry about just everything.  It seems once you have your first child someone out there pushes the worry button for you and once the button is pushed there is no off switch.  Even when your children are grown adults you still worry about them.  I guess it is part of our nature.  We always want the best for our kids and want them to grow up to be happy, healthy adults.  Mothers are a strange breed in that we think we can save our offspring from just about everything.  We ultimately know that that is not really going to happen, but we pray that if we wish it so - it will be.

We are full of advice for our kids.  Do they listen?  Are you kidding me?  It's like talking to the toaster or better yet, it's like sticking a knife in the toaster while it is still plugged in.  "Shock and awe" you every time. 
Mothers only offer advice on two occasions: when you want it and when you don't.

From my many years of experience at being a Mother and Grandmother I have learned the following:

Your mother is the only person that knows more about you than you know about yourself.

Any time you are unable to solve a problem, ask your mother. She probably won't know either, but she will fake it.

The nicer a mother is, the greater the probability that her kids are rotten.

Never lie to your mother. And if you do, never think you got away with it.

The older you are, the more you feel like a child around your mother

All mother's have a "How To" manual. That's because they wrote the book.

Mother's way is best. If you don't believe it, ask her.

No matter how wrong you are, your mother will not hold it against you. She may remind you a number of times, but she will not hold it against you.

 MOTHERS WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!

What Woman doesn't Love Shoes

I just bought a new pair of sandals today and they are so cute.  I love shoes, to my hubby's dismay.  I probably own close to 40 pairs, maybe more or maybe a few less.  I have never had the courage to really count them.  I know that there are some that I may only wear once a year, but honestly, I really do need them.  And it is just heartbreaking to say goodbye to them.  Cleaning out my closet of shoes is always a volition I could do without.  I know that there are some that I haven't had on in several years, like my snow boots.  But then again you just never know when I will need 'em.  Living in Florida and not going to cold country but once in a blue moon, it is probably safe to say that they are only worn every 4 or five years.  And maybe having 2 pairs of snow boots is a real stretch, but remember, they are "so cute!".

I used to buy high heels, but since the age of 60 I pretty much stick to flats.  I still have a few spectator heels and some "have to have" black heels.  I normally wear daily either sandals or sneakers in the Summer and my loafers in the Fall and Winter.  Right now I am in the sandal mode and have come across some sweet looking ones.  I am not crazy about the between the toes ones but if they are attractive enough they're worth purchasing.

I guess I am very fortunate that I have the extra dough to spend on frivolous shoes.  Man, what if I didn't?  Have you heard this one?...................

Your Mama is so poor when I saw her wobbling down the street with one shoe, I hollered- "lost a shoe?", and she said-"Nope... just found one..."     LOL!  

I was shopping on line for a new pair of sneakers when I came across these heels below.  Now, are they sumpin' or what????   .

   

  

The Ferrari Shoes are just too, too CUTE! 

If you have a choice of selling shoes to ladies or giving birth to a flaming porcupine... look into that second, less painful career.
- Richard Jeni, 1957 - 2007

Our Little Family Toddler Got a BooBoo Today!

The phone call that always scares the pants off of you begins:  "Mama, I need you to come over, the baby is hurt".  Yep, he's a climber and had climbed onto one of the dining room chairs, stood up, and then fell forward, chair and all, onto a tile floor!  Oh my heavens!  Jenny said he bled profusely from his little mouth. 

Well after a trip to the doctors, he was diagnosed as ripping his vestible (the skin that runs between your lip and gums).  He also has a very fat lip.  Poor lil' dumplin'.  He will be all right and it will heal, but it has got to hurt like crazy!  God bless him!

He has quite a BOOBOO!

Oh yeah, little boys can really make your heart beat faster.  Especially toddlers, when they are in to everything and it seems you can't take your eyes off of them.  David and his older brother (who just had his 3rd Birthday celebration) are pretty much a handful.  I think I mentioned this a couple of days ago.  Well, here is a good breakdown of what and how this age thinks:

If it's mine it's mine,
if it's yours it's mine,
if I like it is mine,
if I can take it from you it is mine,
if I am playing with something ALL of the pieces are mine,
if I think it is mine it is,
if I saw it first it's mine,
if I had it then put it down it is still mine,
if you had it then you put it down it is now mine,
if it looks like the one I have at home it is mine,
if it is broken it is yours.

Yes, my daughter is now experiencing motherhood in all its glory.  As she aptly put it the other day -  The hardest job you will ever love!



And just so you Moms out there know I have been there, done that, here are a few more Motherhood laws that all of you will learn:

The more preparation time for the meal the less likely a child is to eat it.

and

As soon as the child is in the car and the car has left the driveway the child will have to use the bathroom.

May God Bless all Moms!

My favorite New Items

Being in the senior group, I tend to go back to the past and memories of what used to be, but I thought I would just like to mention just a few things that make my life so much easier in today's world.  Things that I enjoy right now.  Things that have really made my day.  Oh, and there are many.  Sometimes I think "what would I do without them?".  But then, a lot of them are just conveniences.  New technology is just great.  Sure, they make for a stress-free time, but more than that, they are just fun.

I guess first on my list is the computer.  Wow, what a difference it has made in my life.  The very first thing I do in the morning is get up and drink a cup of coffee and sit down at the computer.  No more newspapers for me.  I can get up to date with the news and check my e-mails.  No more letter writing. Then a quick trip to Facebook, Pinterest, and my Blog.  Hmmm! I got up at 7 and it is now 9.  Time flies when you are having fun.  Ahhhh! RETIREMENT!  I just love it.

Now it's time to check my i-phone (SUPER COOL!) and my google calendar to plan my day.  The google calendar is about the neatest thing I've come across lately.  I can check it out or add a note just about anywhere.  Just how neat is that?

And looking around the den I can see it is time to run the roomba.  Heh, Heh!  Just sit on my fat bums and watch Toby, our long haired dachsund run for the hills.  It does a pretty good job on picking up most of the dog hair and a few crumbs.  To be honest with you though, a once a week dyson vacuum is always a good idea.  That is when I literally have to stand up and walk around the room.  Well, a girl has to get some exercise, doesn't she?





A person can't go a day without using the microwave or the automatic dishwasher.  And how about the icemaker in the door of the refrigerator?  Yeah, our Grandmothers would faint if they could see us now.  Frozen dinners, ready made soups, granola bars and yogurts - do we ever have to cook a meal from the start again? 

And lastly, my all time fave - my DVR.  I can set up to record all my shows and watch them at my leisure (in which I have a lot).  No commercials!  Life is Good! 

Wait a minute.......I forgot to get out of my PJ's today.  Yeah, I know, now if I could only find some new device to help me remember that just because I'm retired I still have to get dressed every day.  HMMMM!  OR DO I?



    

Great Celebration on Mother's Day

Hope everyone had as nice a Mother's Day yesterday as I had.  Lisa and the boys sent me a delish tin of cookies and Jenny and her gang showed up at the beach condo for afternoon of fun, fun, fun.  Those little rascals really wear me out.  After they left about 7pm I was showered and in bed by 9pm.  LOL!  They are a lot of fun, but are non-stop.  We went to the pool and wore them out a little bit, at least the 6 and 7 year old girls could sit still and watch a Disney movie in the late afternoon.  The boys, 1 and 2, are a different story.  Boy did I ever get on the list with the 1 year old, David.  When he reached for a glass plate and Gramma yelled "No, No!" he sure did not like it.  I was told by my granddaughter, 6 year old Clara, "Gramma, he doesn't like the N word".  Heh!  The N WORD.  Can you believe it? It now has its own initials.... 

I can see why.  Everyone in the family spoils the little tyke.  You really can't help it.  He is so darn cute.  Sophie and Clara (his sisters) think he can do no wrong.  Here's an example of his handy work:

No, it's not what it looks like.  He found one of the girls red markers and just went to town marking himself.  What can you do but hide your face from him and laugh your face off!

So, heavens to Betsy don't say the N WORD.  He might just throw a little fitsky!  All in all it was a fun Mother's Day and I enjoyed every minute of it.  Hubby bought me flowers, the grandkids brought me flowers and we had a great take out bar-b-q dinner from Bono's.  What more could a Grandma want??      I can't think of a thing.