How Children Perceive Their Grandparents

One of my friends sent this to me and I so appreciate it.  Number 1 and 4 are just my favorites.  Hope you enjoy them.  I enjoy sharing them with you..................

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said. "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child.

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.

 

10 Things Your Dad Never Said

10. Well, how about that! I'm lost. Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

9. You know, Lisa, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

8. Don't worry, I can pick out a car for you now that you are sixteen.  Come on, it will only take an hour or two and you'll be driving your first car. 

7. Here's $50 bucks Mike. Go crazy!

6. What do you mean you want to be different than your friends?  You have to do the same things that they do, son.  So if they jump off a bridge I want you to jump right after them.

5. Your mother and I are going away for the weekend Jenny. You might want to consider throwing a party.

4. You know now that you are a teenager you can stay out as late as you want.  Curfews are not necessary for you kids.

3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now, quit your belly aching and let's go to the mall.

2. Why do you want to go and get a job? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

1. Father's Day? Ah, don't worry about that. It's no big deal!

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
- Theodore Hesburgh

Mothers

All of you out there know what it is like to cause your Mother to worry.  Mom's worry about just everything.  It seems once you have your first child someone out there pushes the worry button for you and once the button is pushed there is no off switch.  Even when your children are grown adults you still worry about them.  I guess it is part of our nature.  We always want the best for our kids and want them to grow up to be happy, healthy adults.  Mothers are a strange breed in that we think we can save our offspring from just about everything.  We ultimately know that that is not really going to happen, but we pray that if we wish it so - it will be.

We are full of advice for our kids.  Do they listen?  Are you kidding me?  It's like talking to the toaster or better yet, it's like sticking a knife in the toaster while it is still plugged in.  "Shock and awe" you every time. 
Mothers only offer advice on two occasions: when you want it and when you don't.

From my many years of experience at being a Mother and Grandmother I have learned the following:

Your mother is the only person that knows more about you than you know about yourself.

Any time you are unable to solve a problem, ask your mother. She probably won't know either, but she will fake it.

The nicer a mother is, the greater the probability that her kids are rotten.

Never lie to your mother. And if you do, never think you got away with it.

The older you are, the more you feel like a child around your mother

All mother's have a "How To" manual. That's because they wrote the book.

Mother's way is best. If you don't believe it, ask her.

No matter how wrong you are, your mother will not hold it against you. She may remind you a number of times, but she will not hold it against you.

 MOTHERS WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!